Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
