that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize