D3 body, D1 cock
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Someone shattered a urinal.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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