Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
