i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
