Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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