Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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