so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
