My friends, they love my intelligence
oh god the rape fog is back!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
