I wish I could teleport
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Randomize
