why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
