Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
