I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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