i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
People in love make me want to vomit
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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