My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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