Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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