But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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