dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
