What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
