i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
