i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
