Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
