well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
