You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
