He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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