i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So much rum. So many feels.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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