Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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