"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize