If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
