I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
