Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
