I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
