bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
