Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I need water and some morals
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