Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
