Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
