She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
