But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
