Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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