so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
