I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
