remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
