I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
only you would photoshop your dick
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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