dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
