He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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