It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
