I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
