I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
They should really pass out barf bags in church
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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