I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
