I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's rum buckets o'clock
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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