no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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