I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
