i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
