Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
