She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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