yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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