i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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