Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize