that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
