she was so not down for the gang bang
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
