You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
